Today had to wear a shirt inside to save a bit of time. Went down and missed the bus. It was rather stupid. I was at the door but the damn uncle didn't turn his head to look and drive off. Somemore the uncle I know one. I was mad but I am learning to control. Quite soon the next bus came. I hate waiting at this bus stop. Other bus stop is still quite ok but this one nowadays I cannot stand already. Why, dun wanna disclose. So, reached school expecting to see Shan joo already there. Haha almost reached that area when her mercedes came. I just love doing that. And best thing is her dad can't horn me lolx. Aloy didn't come today haiz. Went to the hall watch some plays again. Got 2. Boring man. Quite ok la but I rather dun want. Haha but again something was on my mind. I wanted to practise for later. Only can go room with Shan joo to find our uniform. Which took a considerable amount of time. Went back and endured. After everything, which was recess, this was it. Went to the room and changed. Not really la. Had to call Shan joo for help. But her help wasn't go good lolx. For this I needed Xiuyi. But others needed Shan joo's help so lucky she was there. Spent quite some time changing. Couldn't find my sticks. I am quite superstitious nowadays. I wanted to use my own sticks. For luck. I'm a big one on luck. But the other group took it. Haiz. And I sooo wanted to use it. Took a picture, then went to the music room to rehearse and add more stuff. What we had now was really insufficient. Really below the passing mark. We created new gimmicks. I bungled everything. The nervousness was creeping on me, strengthening it's hold. The more mistakes I made the worse it got. But I held it at bay, not letting it control me. Yet. After all we were only practising in front of the mirror. My worse fear now was to do everything wrongly. All too soon we had to go down. Wished Winda luck and gave encouragement I think haha. After a band, then her, then us. By this time I was really nervous. Haha I have never felt this nervous before. Worse still it got even worse when we started. I saw someone and felt why can't I just sink down through the floor so I wun have to go through this. We were so unprepared. But everyone felt the same way so let's go down together haha. Great. First thing already did wrongly. In fact did everything wrongly. Only the playing correct. Haha my entire legs was shaking. It shook so much I felt the whole school would see. Is like numb but can feel, and like gonna collapse anytime. I didn't have the presence of mind to pray for myself. The reason for all this is the limited time of practise. I was so nervous I couldn't think and I depended on what I already knew. That's why can play but cannot do the gimmick. Coz of lack of practise. I admired the others for being able to do it. Felt pretty bad afterwards. Didn't wanna confide coz everyone felt the same. Watched Shane abit. He was really good. Changed and watched somemore. Remington say go design studio after this so go take bag and watch somemore.
In the design studio for so long lor. Aloy got come haha he had overslept. Great! Haiz suppose to meet Bradley at 1.15 but at that time still not finished. But, the good thing was he confirmed that I had passed. And he quite sure then he was free on Tuesday too. I was really extremely happy and light hearted. Walked with Aloy to KFC. Almost everyone was there. Great! Even better, first a girl called Aloy. Then moments later her companion was Elvia! What a coincidence! Haha cool!!! Megagreat! After eating walk with Shan joo to the bus stop. I really wanted to go home. But I only met Bradley 2 days ago I didn't want him to have a bad impression. Being late is bad enough for me in my standards. Walked there, had a fun time playing with him. Then introduced him to where I always go for a drink, at the sugar cane store. Haha when he reached there he realized this was where there was cholera. But still buy la lolx. Walked a bit of the way then went home.
Slacked alot la. Then my cousin came. She designed a dress I dun know for what. Quite nice la. Actually I dun know what so nice about it but quite nice la. Why dun just go buy a dress lolx. I went taekwondo while she stay for a while more playing computer. Taekwondo was ok la. Found out my results will come out somewhere at Nov 14. So that's 1/3 of my life completed. Went to my cousin's house to take my phone and go Chai Chee eat. It had already started drizzling. When we reached Chai Chee it was starting to get heavy. After eating it was the heaviest. Haha but still I walk home. Reached home wanted to bathe, but saw a WWOD. Nice very nice. Bathed, then watched the scary show part 2. This time I was absolutely terrified when I slept. Last time I could at least sleep with the door open and the light off. Now my sister in the room, the light off, the door close, I could barely sleep. For like an hour I felt my heart thumping very hard. By sheer force of will I managed to sleep. I kept forcing into my mind what I played today. Long term goal: conquer my fear of watching scary movies. And understanding why I'm scared. Well, at least my life is improving.