Ok so we had our last match today. SR vs RJ. I took a big bus to school and everything. Nv kena scolding by teacher all quite good eh. Juz did all the normal Wednesday aka cold day stuff. But yeah I was so nervous and excited. But more of nervous I guess. Closer to time I got more scared. But it was a strange calm. Juz like last year when we knew we had to win nj. But this time it's abit different. And i shit 2 times. Maybe that's a warning. Coz last year i vomit 5 times before our most impt match too.
So off we were to play our would be final match. It was indescribable i guess. So many things went wrong. Haiz. We lost 1-0 and when the whistle blew i juz hurried to shake hands and went one side to break down. Coz i mean all the effects of a lost in this game came upon me. but mostly was the pain of leaving my dearest kids. It was pretty somber at first then we cool down and everything. It was tough but i pulled myself together to be strong for the team one last time. To do everything one last time. It was with a heavy heart that we boarded the bus and left for school.
Well things looked up and we cheered up considerably in the bus. Hahaha our resident mina came up with the tactic to hide our lost. Sort of lolx. I went around talking with as many ppl as i could, hopefully leaving something behind for them to rely on next year. Dun know if it was enough. But it seriously broke my heart to see my girls cry like that just now and i hate myself for not being strong fast enough. We made big plans for next year and well just talked our hearts out =))
So we reached school and debrief. Everyone said something then blah blah then we went to take pic hahaha. Aaaaa i gonna miss them sooooo much! My Lucia! My Shermaine! My Rachel! Really felt something ripped out of me. The emptiness. We had our final moments of the kind of fun that can only be felt in a training. No other time will we feel this. Then we changed and stuff and went mac to eat. Hahaha it was enjoyable and well something to ease my mood. A good finish =)))
Reached home, had a good bath and my dad started a ruckus when he reached home. With all the vent up emotions especially anger i was suppressing he really asked for it. Unreasonable piece of shit. Shan't elaborate on him besides the fact that he is quite good for nothing. But it just spurred on my anger. And i dun know how im gonna cope with everything. Let it all out? Impossible. No way. But i better handle it properly so that it wun hurt me. Put today behind me. But i will nv forget the joy my kids brought =p An indelible mark on me and it can never be erased. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!