Too weary to think. The metagame is everchanging and everyday must think like siao. To what end? Just fri only chiong to think of a foolproof deck to use. 2 hours on the phone alone to brainstorm on the sideboard which is simply made of 15 cards. Today total reject and 360 change. Whatever, let the show roll.

2 more weeks.

Haha wah super hectic. But the long weekend very shiok. Cousin bonding, magic and more cousin bonding with Jiahui. Sad Jialing wasn't in s'pore.

It seems the hours and minutes are just slipping through my fingers like sand now. This sunday is it. Then it's bye bye for 8 long months. Then soon after follows the syf. Then is just MUGGING for 8 long months. My mind feels like a dam. But won't overflow la =)

I left my breakfast on the bus today and i was damn miserable. So i had a modest mountain of rice for lunch. Coz i reminded myself i was on a diet hence 'modest'. Oh i got this irritating cough that makes me feel so down but luckily i got a cow to cheer me up =D Anyways i really gotta stop driving down the road of my life and refuel. Sure living to the max is good but without moderation you will enjoy nothing. Rmb to rest, destress, take a step back and relax. So ppl laugh more, make me laugh, and i will try to make you laugh too =)))

Ok i accidentally fell asleep juz now so im like still thinking whether to eat dinner now at 2.45am not. Ever since getting the results everything has been so hectic. Everyday is just a few hours sleep then work coz im just trying to squeeze every possible moment out. Just as i started to stop, things start gushing in. But i always rmb the book said don't be so busy driving that u don't have time to refuel.

Last week i had my first(and last) trip to bishan on a saturday this year. I had fnm the previous night and because of that, i didn't have as perfect a day as i would have liked. Drafting and being there made me realize how much i have been missing. The time lost i can nv recover. I dun regret it but i feel a deep sense of lost. I know now i can only do one thing i love at a time. But how do u measure importance? Do you marginalise it against guilt or duty or what is supposedly the 'right' thing? It's all about balance i guess =)

Guess what it didn't rain on fri! So the kids could happily build sandcastles and be burnt a healthy brown. Wah i think everyone felt really happy everything was so enjoyable. I think i have to go down to the beach more often then bring Alysa along too=p

So ppl, green red, green black or mono red?

It's only when you're about to lose something that u live it to the fullest you know? After getting tenth last week i finally gathered the courage to check my ratings again. I rmb last time every week i will eagerly check up on my progress. Haiz so disappointing. I dun know why the decline started. I was slowly but surely shooting up, then omg the descent was scary. Yeah i think the A levels really screwed me over la. The !@#$ most stupid thing is im 2 points below him. Like wtf? I got til the end of the month to show some decent ratings then it's over man. I can forget bout nationals. I can forget that magic even exists. Everything will be shipped over to my sis house. I mean carred coz we dun own a ship.

The camp was like a camp. Haiz i feel for them. Hope they all get enough rest and can recover for the new term. Alot on my mind now like seriously alot. But still doesn't stop me from falling asleep in work. I think i need attach a mini alarm in my ear to shock me into waking up everytime i doze.

Eh i learned something today. DUN EVER attempt to wear anything white in band during the monsoon season. And ALWAYS ALWAYS wear specs when playing magic. Oh shan joo going again i hope i dun get in trouble or anything. Anyways please help me pray for sunny weather tml!

I have been so tired lately. When i go work is like machiam going sch the timing again. Well so the moment of truth is tml. Not that i dun know what it will be. But im still afraid. Even more so coz Shan joo is not in singapore so there's the additional insecurity i dun need. But i know that it's only tonight. I know that when the time comes, i will still laugh my head off. I have more or less decided my path i just need the approval and support of everyone around me. Sometimes i feel i will never smile again. That every moment i enjoy is my last. Maybe is good for me to finally fail at something. I did not pay the price so i will not get the goods.

So the question is. Can i pay the price this time?